The Taxi Cab
by KrazieKim522
Summary: What happens when the Harry Potter characters get stuck in a taxi cab with a very annoying Sirius Black? Read and find out!
1. Hermione Granger

Taxi Cab

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot...

Summary: What happens when the characters of Harry Potter get stuck in a taxi cab with the most annoying Sirius Black

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Hi everybody! This is Sirius Black. I'm going to stay in this taxi cab for twenty-four hours, annoying every person that gets in the cab. It all started with Hermione Granger.

"Can you take me to Surrey, London?" asked Hermione Granger.

"Sure," said the taxi driver.

"Excuse me Miss, do you know where babies come from?" asked Sirius Black.

Hermione looked at Sirius and noticed he was five inches from her face. He had a look of pure joy on his face.

"Uh... they come from the stork," stated Hermione questioningly.

_Jeez, what is this guy pulling at, _thought Hermione.

She noticed that he moved closer to the window and had a look of sadness on his face. He looked as if he was about to cry.

Hermione patted his arm softly and said,"It's okay." Sirius looked at her and started screaming at the place where Hermione touched him.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!...My arm! My arm!"

"What happened? I didn't do anything to you!"

"Ahhhhhhh...I have cooties!"

Then it got all quiet in the taxi cab. Hermione felt as if someone was looking at her. She turned and looked at Sirius, who was staring at her.

"What? Do I have something in my hair?"

All of a sudden, Sirius started to cry.

"What's the matter? It's okay."

Sirius looked at her and said," Make the voices stop! Make them stop!"

"What voices? What are you talking about?"

"They are telling me to burn things! I'd do what they say, but I don't have a lighter!" He stopped abrutly.

Sirius turned and looked at Hermione. He went over to her ear and whispered, "Do you have a lighter?"

Right then, Hermione had had enough. She screamed, "Let me out here!"

The driver looked back and said," But we're not in Surrey yet, ma'am."

"I don't care! Here take the money! Let me out!"

The driver took the money, pulled over and let Hermione out.

After she was gone, Sirius pulled out a little notebook and wrote,

_One down, more to go._

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**So what did you guys think. The next chapter is going to have is Ron Weasley! Hope you all liked it!**

**-shortie522**


	2. Ron Weasley

The Taxi Cab

Disclaimer- If I owned Harry Potter, I wouldn't be writing on FanFiction right now.

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_Hi, It's Sirius again. I just fooled around with Hermione Grangers head, now it's time for a little Ron Weasley._

"Can you take me to the Leaky Cauldron?" asked Ron.

"Yeah, but it'll cost ya" said the taxi cab driver.

From the looks of it, Ron Weasley just came out of the library. He was sitting in the taxi cab with a pile of books up to his big nose.

Ron looks at Sirius (the younger version) and sets the books down on the space in between them.

"Ahhhhhhh! What are you doing? Move the books! Move the books!" screamed Sirius.

"Okay, okay! Calm down buddy!" yelled Ron.

Sirius looks at the empty space and says "It's okay Jerimiah. That evil kid didn't mean to do. It's okay." said Sirius, pretending to pat someones shoulder.

"Evil boy, right Jerimiah?" asked Sirius.

Sirius looks up from the seat beside him and glares at Ron.

"Say you're sorry right now young man," said Sirius huffily.

Ron stares at Sirius then looks out the window. Sirius's chest puffs up and says,"Say it!"

"Okay...Sorry Jerimiah."

"That's better." says Sirius then starts to look out the window. Sirius looks over at Ron, who is staring out the window, and pokes him in the arm. Ron looks over at Sirius who was looking out the window whistling. Ron goes back to looking out the window when Sirius pokes him again.

"What?!" yells Ron.

Sirius's eyes get big and glossy, then points to the seat on the side of him.

"It wasn't me...Jerimiah did it"

"Sure"

"Hey mister?" asks Sirius.

"What?"

"Does everyone in your family have your color hair?"

"Yeah"

"Why?"

"Because we do."

"Why?"

"Because we were born with it."

"Why?"

"I DON'T KNOW! STOP ASKING!" yelled Ron.

"Jeeze, can't a guy ask a simple question around here? People these days...so immature," said Sirius.

Ron looks over at Sirius and says,"Ya know what? I'm leaving! I can't stand it in here! You're mad! Absolutley mad!" screams Ron.

Ron takes the money out of his pocket, gives it to the driver then gets out. Sirius opens the window and yells,

"Jerimiah says goodbye!" Then the taxi takes off to fing his next victim.

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What'd you think? Good or bad? Who should I do next? Ginny? Harry? Malfoy? Pick one! Thanks for reviewing and I'll update as fast as I can.

-shortie522


	3. Remus Lupin

The Taxi Cab

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot...and Bubba...

**Hey Everyone! I can't believe you guys actually like this story! squeals I feel so loved...Sorry about the long wait on this chapter...I've been busy with school, Honor Society, baby-sitting, Teen Court...everything...I hope you all like this chapter and I love you all! blows reviewers kisses. I hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

**This chapter is dedicated to Blooper Queen!!!!!**

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The taixi cab has been driving around for a decent oanount of time, looking for the perfect victims. Sirius is looking out the window when he sees someone and yells to the cab driver named Bubba to "Stop!"

A teenage boy walks up to the taxi and gets in. He has scars all over his face, and his cholthes are old and torn.

"Can you take me to the Shrieking Shack?" asked the familiar voice.

"Sure, butyou do know it's haunted, right?" asked Bubba.

"Yes, I know, thanks for your concern," said huffily by none other than Remus Lupin. (a/n- this is the young Remus, as in the MARAUDERS.)

Sirius looks at Remus and smiles.

"Hey buddy! How ya been?"

"Uh...fine...nice to see you too Sirius."

"I know I am."

Remus looks at him and asks, "Am what?"

"Serious"

"Ok then..." say Remus and looks out the window.

There was an awkward silence until Sirius looks at Remus. Remus looks at Sirius and starts to get a bit nervous.

"What?" asked Remus.

Sirius bends closer to Remus and whispers, " I want a new butt."

"What?!"

"I want a new butt." Sirius repeats.

"Why...?"

"Because mine has a crack in it. Does your butt have a crack in it?" asked Sirius. Sirus looks at Remus up and down and wiggles his eyebrows, not to mention lick his lips.

Remus bends over and pats Sirius on the arm and says, "I like you Sirius, but not that way..."

"What way are you talking about Remuy-Poo?" questioned Sirius, batting his eyelashes at him.

"I don't like guys, Sirius."

"Really...what about that onw time when you made out with that guy...and...and...you did it because you wanted to see two girls make-out, but they never did. Is that that the way, Moony?"

"SIRIUS! DUDE! I'M NOT GAY!"

"Sure your not..." says Siriusand starts to look out the window once again.

It was very quiet at the moment until Sirius starts to sing, " TWINKLE TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR! HOW I WONDER WHERE YOU ARE! STOP! BREAK IT DOWN NOW!"

"YO. THERE ONCE WAS A STAR THAT HAD A TWINKLE! UP IN THE SKY! WAY UP HIGH!"

Right at that moment, Remus about lost it. "SIRIUS! SHUT UP!"

"No my homie! Just chillin the the burbs with my peeps yo!"

"What are you talking about?"

"YO, REM-DAWG! WHERE'D YA GET THAT WATCH BROTHA? IT IS TIGHT! AIGHT?"

"That's it...I had enough..." Remus opens the door and jumps out, but not without paying. A few minutes later, Bubba says to Sirus, "Hey, where'd you learn all that?"

"Ah...here...there...MTV. What's the difference?"

And the cab drives off to find it's next victim...

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**So? What'd ya think? Good, bad or just plain ugly. On a scale from 1-10, with 10 being the highest, what do you rate this story and why? I'd like to know. Plus, Flames are welcome! Hope y'all liked it, and...**

**R**

**E**

**V**

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**E**

**W**

**That's all folks!**

**shortie522**


	4. Neville Longbottom

The Taxi Cab

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot...

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The taxi cab was zooming throughout the city. One by one, Sirius looked at the people waiting to get a ride to their destination, but they just weren't right. Until he saw onw person waitng on the side of the street.

"Take me to Diagon Alley" said a very shaky Neville Longbottom.

"All righty, then" said Bubba the cab driver.

You tell that this young man sitting near the one, the only Sirius Black, would have a very complicated day.

"I can see right through you, ya know," stated Sirus Black shifting his eyes.

"U-uh...oookay..." said Neville.

"Oh My Gosh!"

" What?!?" screamed Neville as he jumped out of his seat.

With a frightened face Sirius stated "Y-your...your one of ... your one of.."

"One of what? Tell me please!"

"Your one of them!" screamed Sirius, pointing his finger at Neville looking very scared.

'Right"

There was a momence of silence in the cab, except with the ocassional cough. Sirius decided to make this a little funner so he pulled out a hand puppet.

"What's that for?" asked Neville.

"What are you talking about?" asked Sirius then looked at his puppet.

"What's that crazy kid talking about Edward?"

Sirius moved his hand as if the puppet was talking and said in a higher pitched voice,

"I don't know Siri, but I think that kid needs a diet!"

"I do not! I'm just big-boned!" yelled Neville.

Sirius looked at him and looked back at the puppet.

"Hey, I didn't say that, he did," pointing to Edward.

"Whatever," stated Neville and looked out the window once more.

"Hey Edward! Do you think he had even had a girlfriend?" asked Sirius.

"Nope, he's too fat," said 'Edward'.

" I'M NOT FAT! BIG-BONED! BIG-BONED I TELL YOU!" screamed Neville.

"Sure buddy, sure," said Sirius.

"AND BESIDES, I HAVE TOO HAD A GIRLFRIEND!"

"Betcha you haven't!" yelled 'Edward'.

"HAVE TOO!"

"HAVE NOT!"

"HAVE TOO!"

"HAVE NOT AND THAT'S FINAL. EVEN IF YOU DID HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, IT PROBABLY WAS LIKE A LAST RESORT." yelled Sirius.

"Yeah, he was probably too "Big-Boned", with emphasis on the big part," whispered 'Edward'.

"I BET YOU THAT YOU NEVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND IN YOUR LIFE! EDWARD!" screamed Neville.

"Well, I've never! I'm married! Her name is Ceceila! How rude!" huffed 'Edward'.

"The only bad thing about it is that Cecelia is a shoe!" whispered Sirius to Neville.

"I heard that, Siri!" yelled 'Edward'.

"Oh, Edward! I'm so sorry! do you forgive me?" asked Sirius.

"Of course I do, Siri! I love you!" screamed 'Edward'.

"I love you too! Let's make-out!" yelled Sirius, and starts making out with 'Edward' the sock puppet.

"Oh no! I'm outta here!" yelled Neville, gave the money to Bubba, and got out of the cab.

Minutes later, Bubba spoke up,

''Hey Black! That was some good acting! especially with the sock puppet." declared Bubba.

"Thanks! 'Edward' was such a GREAT kisser!" stated Sirius with a mischivious grin plastered across his face.

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**Well, I hoped you liked that chapter! Sorry it took so long to update. Writers block I tell you! Thanks to all my reviewers...**

**Siriusly Deluded- Thanks! I feel so loved that you used me in your story! :)**

**Darker Shade of Black- Thanks! i didn't know this story was that good! :)**

**Hyperkitti- Hey! We could be vertically challenged together! I'll check out your stories! Thanks again! :)**

**Musical Beans- Thanks! I hoped you liked your Christmas present! See you soon! :)**

**Lara Potter- My friend told me that line at lunch the day earlier! Hoped you liked it! :)**

**Blooper Queen- Me too! I think I need some cement for the crack! :P...Thanks again!**

**Thanks to all of you and Happy Holidays!**

**Merry Christmas!**

**Happy Hanachaka! (I spelled that wrong)**

**Krazy Kwanza!**

**Tip-Top Tet!**

**And Happy New Year and Chinese New Year!**

**-shortie522**

**REVIEW! REIVEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! READ! REVIEW! REVIEW! **


	5. Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson

The Taxi Cab

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot.....and Bubba......

**OMG! I am so sorry! I haven't updated in like a month! Maybe more! I feel so bad! I hope you all forgive me! Well.....I'm Siriusly (haha seriously) all out of ideas now.....I have a lot of random moments but I can't just write them all down. This is going to be one of the last chapters of this story, because it basically has no point to the story what-so-ever. Well......ONWARD READERS!**

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"Hey Sirius," said the taxi cab drvier.

"Huh?" asked Sirius.

"Umm...I know you pick everyone, but how about that kid right over there," questioned Bubba , pointing to a blonde kid around sixteen years old, making out with a girl with black hair on the street.

"Hmm.....good choice Bubba, my boy. Stop the cab," stated Sirius patting the cab driver on the back. The door opened and jumped in the blonde and the dark-haired girl. ( Ok, it's obviously Draco and Pansy)

"Liverpool......soon...." managed Draco, still tongue-tied with Pansy.

"Yessir......." said Bubba, stifling a laugh.

Sirius taps Draco on the shoulder.

"What?!" snarled Draco, pulling away from Pansy.

"If I was pizza......I'd eat myself," said Sirius, all up in Draco's face.

"Right," he said and got back to Pansy. Seconds later, he looked at Sirius and said, "What's pizza anyway?"

"Ummmmm....uhhh..." stuttered Sirius, "Look, a distraction!" yelled Sirius pointing at the other end of the cab and hides behind a bag.

"You can't see me, you can't see me, I'm behind the wall of invisiblity...." chanted Sirius, peeking out from behind the bag.

"Freak..." stated Draco. He was about to go and finish what he was doing earlier with Pansy, but saw Sirius staring at him.

"Umm....Pansy? I think we should do this later when we are **ALONE!**".

Pansy glared at Siriusm then straighened out her skirt. "I guess Dracy-Poo"

"DRACY-POO! DRACY-POO! I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABY!" screamed Sirius at the top of his lungs.

"Sir, I know I'm irresistible," started Draco," but I don't think this is going to work out."

"Oh...."stated Sirius, looking at his shoes with a pout.

It was quiet in the cab when Draco and Pansy started going at it again. Sirius soon takes out his sock puppet, Edward and puts it on his hand.

"Ya know what, Eddy?" said Sirius.

"Yes o beautiful and handsome, sexy Sirius?," said 'Edward'.

"Oh stop it, your making me blush," stated Sirius fanning his face. Now, both kids were staring at Sirius.

"I think it's time for a......" started Sirius, and tackle Draco.

"TICKLE FIGHT!" he sreamed.

"NO!-laugh-STOP IT!-laugh-THIS-laugh-INSTANT!" yelled Draco, through his fits of laughter.

"What?'' asked Sirius, returning to his side of the taxi.

"Gotta be wild SOMETIMES....right Dracy-poo?" he said batting his eyelashes.

"Eww....LET ME OUT OF THIS CAB THIS INSTANT! YOU WON'T HEAR THE LAST FROM ME!" and with that, Draco pulled Pansy out of the cab, threw the money on the seat and stormed away.

Bubba looked at Sirius and said, "Sweet" and gave him a high-five.

"Hey Bubba" asked Sirius.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Llama's rock my world."

"Sirius bud, you're one of a kind," and with that,the two, (three if you count Edward), drove off to find the next victim of the dreaded taxi cab.

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**HEY ALL! HOPE YOU LIKED! I'D LIKE TO THANK ALL MY REVIEWERS....**

**gabbers**

**Jackie G.**

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**Blooper Queen**

**Siriusly Deluded**

**Lunacy-Fringe05**

**Hyperkitti**

**Laura Potter**

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**and Musical Beans.**

**This chapter is dedicated to MusicalBeans because she gave me the idea. Thanks!**


	6. Severus Snape

The Taxi Cab

**Disclaimer- Anything you reconignize, IT'S NOT FLIPPIN' MINE!**

_**Author note- OMG! I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN FOREVER! SCHOOL, PLAY, HONOR SOCIETY, EVERYTHING! I feel so bad for leaving y'all hanging like that. I love you guys so much for all the reviews! I feel so loved! Teehee! Plus, I found a new website, that I've been spending all my time on. Fun fun fun. Well, the rest is up to you! Hope you all like!**_

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"Ahhh...another hour in this taxi cab..." stated Sirius, putting his feet up on the drivers seat in front of him.

"Nothing like terrorizing a few kids...". With his arms crossed behind his head, he glanced out the window.

"STOP BUBBA!" Sirius hollered and the taxi cab came to a complete halt in front of the man standing outside cab.

A man stalked in the cab, about 6 foot high with the greasied hair Sirius has ever seen. Pale face with black beetle eyes. Of course, who else would it be other than the one and only Severus Snape?

"Take me too Ollivanders' Wand Shop on the double," Snape hissed as he belongings on the floor of the cab.

Without a second to loose the cab was on it's way to it's destination.

Sirius glanced at Snape and looked at him with shifty eyes.

"I've seen you before," stated Sirius, folding his hands and putting them in his lap.

"And I care why?" said Snape and looked out the window.

"I've seen you, but I can't quite put my finger on it."

"I don't care! Take a hint!" snarled Snape.

The taxi stopped at a light and Sirius stopped a group of older woman sitting on a bench right outside the cab. Sirius quickly opened the window, trying to get attention of the ladies.

"OH MY GOODNESS! I RECONIGNIZED YOU! YOU WERE THE ONE AT THE MOVIE RENTAL STORE THAT WOULDN'T RETURN THOSE MOVIES! What were they called again? OH I REMEMBER! WILD WITCHES IN SALEM! AND THE BROOMSTICK HUSSY!" Sirius screamed at the top of his lungs.

"What are you talking about you fool!" hollered Snape.

"DON'T YOU REMEMBER, I HEARD YOU SAY THAT SINCE YOU COULDN'T GET ANY LADIES YOURSELF, YOU JUST HAD TO KEEP THE MOVIES FOR, your own personal reasons!" yelled Sirius with a wink.

Sirius looked outside and the elderly women gave Snape a dirty look and started whispering. The cab was speeding off again, and Sirius closed the window.

He glanced over and saw a fuming Snape and decided to screw with his mind some more. Sirius rested his chin on the tops of his hands and spoke,

"You have the most interesting hair I have ever seen. So dark and umm...what's the word I'm looking for...GREASY!...I shall take you home and call you greaseball. But you have to promise me you WON'T ruin the carpet."

Snape just started at the looney teenage boy beside him. _Was he drunk? Was he high or stoned? And how did he know about those videos!_

"Ya know what Snivellus, since you were always playing with that chemistry set of yours when you were younger, how come you never made anything to help you with that greaseball that you have on top of your head that you call hair. I mean, when was the last time you took a shower? When you were what, 5 years old?"

"Shut up! My hair is naturally oily!" yelled Snape in defense.

"Ya sure, I don't believe you...what do you think "Edward"?" questioned Sirius with his sock puppet on his hand.

"I'm thinking you're right Honey-Bunches of Oats. I mean come on, IT'S CALLED SHAMPOO! GET SOME BUDDY!" yelled "Edward".

"Okay that's it, I'm out of here!" yelled Snape. He gave Bubba the currency and opened the door and left. Sirius called to his window and opened it yelling out,

"HEY WAIT! I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE YOU HOME, GREASEBALL! REMEMBER ME!"

**I know, not a good chapter at all. I'm running out of ideas for it. I'm so sorry. Bad Kim bad! slaps her hand**

**Well, not to worry, this is going to be one of the very last chapters. My ideas are so suckish right now it's not funny. **

**Thanks to all my reviewers...I LOVE YOU! blows kisses**

**HOPE YOU ALL HAD A LOVELY EASTER AND I'LL TRY TO UPDATE VERY SOON! **

**-shortie522**


	7. Ginny Weasley

The Taxi Cab!

Disclaimer: Things in mirror are closer than they seem…same with my story, you seen em and know em, I DON"T OWN EM!

**Authoress Notes: Well, well, well, what do we have here? Another update you say? Saweet! Finally! Woohoo! And now I'm done with the interjections! Sorry for the wait, couldn't decide on who to do next. But alas, I have. Cool, right? Lol. Well, here's the story now…**

"Ahh, nothing like the sweet smell of annoying others in the afternoon," I say.

"I hear ya, bud," says Bubba, stopping at an intersection. I smile and stare out my window looking for the next person to toy with.

So many people all around, but I don't know who to pick. Finally, my eyes land upon a young witch about the age of fourteen, with dashingly bright red hair. Reminds me of another person I annoyed. I smirk as I tell Bubba to stop so the girl can get in. With her pale blue eyes, she whispers to Bubba, "Take me to the Burrow."

"Yes'm," says Bubba, tipping his trucker hat.

I look at the girl, staring at a piece of shiny hair. I keep concentrating on it until she will look.

After about another 30 seconds, she gives me a confused look.

"How may I help you?", she questions.

I stare stupidly with a big goofy grin spread across my face. "Guess what?"

"What?" she asks.

"I got new socks on." I glow.

The girl shifts uncomfortably and moves closer to the window, "Good for you." she states quietly.

"GOOD FOR ME! YOU MEAN GOOD FOR YOU! JUST LOOK AT THESE BABIES!" I exclaim, putting my feet on her lap.

"Umm…ya good for me then…" she stutters, pushing my feet off her lap. I pout and stare out my window while she stares out hers. **(Okay, it's obviously Ginny Weasley if you all haven't figured that out yet.!)**

I start rocking back and forth muttering to myself so that Ginny could hear. When I finally get her attention I mutter loudly, "Gotta go, gotta go…….."

……..

"Oops" I say. I look over at her and she gives me a very dirty look. I give her a faint grin and try to look embarrassed. Ginny rolls her eyes and stares to the front.

Suddenly, I get all up in her face and shows her a big, scabby cut.

"Does this look infected to you?" I say and I sniff it, "Smells infected. Care for a whiff?"

"Ugh no…get away from me!" she exclaims.

"Fine…I see how it is!"

"Fine you should!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!

I growl and stop and stare out my window once again. It seems like that's all I ever do. Oh well, not MY problem.

I look at the young girl next to me and send her an evil glare and start twitching. She looks at me and gives me an odd look and I state,

"I must find a more suitable host body.", I say in a demonic voice.

"OKAY THAT'S IT, I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU!" Ginny screams and throws the money at Bubba and storms out of the vehicle.

"Saweet…..angryness!" I yell.

Okay that's the end of that chappie. Sorry so short my dear reviewers! Never fear for Kim is here! Well, I'll update soon! Promise!

3foreverandalways 3

KrazieKim522


	8. Harry Potter

The Taxi Cab

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you have read or seen in a movie. So ya…J.K. Rowling does. I wish I did but I don't so ya…

**Authoress Note: Wowza. I haven't updated this story in what seems like decades. Well, I now have a babysitting job and I don't have a lot of time to myself and to write this story. So when I update, I really hope I make you guys happy because of the long wait for this. Please accept my sorry's and such. I love you all for reading this and I hope this story is good enough for you guys. **

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I look out my window, and I jus can't find that right person. Yes, I see a lot of great people to prank but ya I don't know what to do with these people. I gaze onto and into streets and finally see the perfect person. I whistle to Bubba to stop the car and we soon open the door to find a young man with mangy black hair and bright green eyes. (its Harry, duh)

I smirk as the boy gets into the taxi. He tells Bubba he's going to the Burrow and with a nod, we're off.

I look at Harry and look at his forehead.

"Excuse me, excuse me I think you have some food on your forehead."

I take my finger and spit all over and try to rub the lightening bolt off.

"Eww man, get your hands off of me!" Harry yelled squirming all over the place.

"Oh dear dear, that little thing won't come off. Maybe I should rub HARDER"

"Uhh..no no that's okay, it's a scar, not food."

"Riiight."

Harry takes a newspaper off the floor of the taxi and starts to read an article. I set my head on his shoulder.

"Whatcha reading?"

"An article."

"What's it about?"

"Stuff."

"What kinda stuff?"

"Stuff that you wouldn't understand."

"How rude! I am appalled by your behavior young man!" I gasp.

I take my winter glove and slap him with it. "You awful awful man!"

Harry takes the glove and throws it out the window. He takes the paper and throws it to the front of the taxi and crosses his arms angrily.

"Awww…what's the matter dearie?"

"Nothing."

"Yes something's wrong."

"Nuh Uh."

"Yeah Huh"

"I think its girlfriend trouble." I whistle.

He looks at the ground and I've obviously hit a soft stop. Yes!

"Hmm…"

I go into my pocket and throw him something.

"Use Protection with the Trojan man, man. "

He looks at it and throw it out the window.

"WHAT YA DO THAT FOR MAN! THAT WAS CHERRY FLAVORED!" I yell.

"Eww…" he mutters.

"Don't worry," I say, "I gots tons more!"

I pull some out of my pocket and opens one up. I blow it up turn around. I look back and see that Harry is watching me.

I turn around and yell "TA-DA! IT'S A CAMEL! SAY HI TO THE CAMEL! HIS FLAVOR IS BANANA!"

I stick the camel in his face and he pushes it away. "My gosh man, grow up."

"NEVER! IMA LIVE WITH PETER PAN AND THE LOST BOYS! WE NEVER GROW UP! AND AND, YOU CAN LIVE WITH US! JUS THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS. THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS!" I scream.

He rolls his eyes and yells, "You do that man, and when you're there, I hope you get eaten by the crocadile"

"CROCODILE! WHERE! AHHHHH SAVE ME SAVE ME! I DON'T WANNA DIE PLEASE NOOO!"

I jump on Harry and cling to him. He pushes me off and jumps out of the taxi cab.

"Muawhaha…"

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**Ya this chappie wasn't as funny because I'm running out of randomness that would go along with the characters. Its more complicated than it looks, trust me. I'd Like to thank all my reviewers. Props to you. **

**HELP WANTED: RANDOM ACTS OF WEIRDNESS AND PEOPLE TO PLAY THEM ON. **

**You can I/m me with the ideas or email them to me. would be greatly appreciated. I heart you my dearies. Stay random!**

**HAVE A GREAT SUMMER!**

**-Kraziekim522**


	9. Tonks!

The Taxi Cab

Disclaimer-I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters. So yeah, don't sue me.

**Authoress Note: Wow. Just wow. I got so much feedback from this last chapter and my hit counter is over the roof! I love all you guys for the reviews. Oh and I love all your suggestions. Simply wonderful. I'll take some and give y'all credit at the end of this chappie::gives all thumbs up: I hope you all like this new chapter. Oh and sorry for the wait! **

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"Wow, I've already pranked what…8 people?" asked Sirius to Bubba in their joyride throughout London.

"Yeah mate…no wait…9 because of the boy and the leech that was sucking onto him," he replied.

"Oh yeah….haha….that was good...STOP THE CAB!" Sirius screamed.

The cab screeched to a complete halt as a woman about the age of twenty waltzed into the cab. Sirius just had to pick her, I mean the bubble-gum pink hair alone would be something to talk about.

The girl leaned against the seat of the cab and smiled to herself.

"Hogs Head, soon as ya can?" she asked. (okay its obviously Tonks).

"Sure thing, ma'am." replied Bubba and started the cab once again.

Sirius looked over at her and smirked.

"Lyke Oh-Em-Gee, I so totally love, like, your, like hair! Lyke, where can I, like, get it done!" questioned Sirius, wrapping his hair around his finger.

"Oh I did it myself! Isn't it awesome?" Laughed Tonks.

"Like totally! High-Five girl-friend!" Sirius said giddily.

"Umm…no…" stated Tonks and looked out her window.

Sirius brushed his arm on Tonks to get her attention. Sirius then stuck his finger up his nose and pulled out something.

"Look lady! Gold! Wait, this isn't gold….Lady, what should I call this color! Is this the same color boogers as yours? Can I see your boogers! Huh, huh can I? Puhlease!"

"Blah! No, now leave me alone!" Said Tonks.

"Fine! Lady mean…." Sirius leaned closer to Tonks.

"Oooooh! Are you wearing a bra! OoOoOh? Can I see!"

"Oh my gosh! Stop it you pervert!" yelled Tonks.

Tonks looked into her window and then changed her hair into long brown pig-tails with a snap of her fingers.

"Ahhh…better" she said to herself.

"Ahhhhhhh! Monster! Bubba there's a monster in the cab! Ahhhhhh!" Screamed Sirius.

He opened his window and screamed to the people on the sidewalk,

"Ahhh…PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW! SAVE ME FROM THIS MONSTER! SHE'S EVIL AND GONNA EAT ME FOR BREAKFAST! BUT I HAD MY WHEATIES THIS MORNING SO I TALK A LOT! AHHH HELP ME!"

The people stared at him, while teenagers giggled. Sirius smirked and put his head back in the cab. With her jaw dropped, Tonks smacked Sirius in the arm.

"OWWW! RAPE! RAPE," he screamed.

"Oh shush! You're so immature! You need to grow up! Seriously!"

"Yes I am," Sirius replied.

"Huh? Am what?"

"Sirius"

"Oh Blah. Just Leave me alone mmkay?"

"Mmm….cake! I want some cake! But I had my Wheaties this morning that's why I'm talking fast. Did you have your Wheaties this morning! Do u like Wheaties! Wheaties make you strong like bull!" said Sirius, flexing his muscles.

"Oh my gosh, I'm getting outta here." Tonks said, and with a blink of her eye, she apparated and was gone.

"HEY THAT GIRL DIDN'T PAY!" yelled Bubba.

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**Well, that was the latest installment of the Taxi Cab! I hope you liked it! Oh and a special thanks too…**

**Miss.Malfoy.Forever.And.Always.x**

**And GoodyBad for some of their ideas. This chappie is dedicated to you both!**

**Thanks to all my Reviewers…**

**Sassafrass**

**Ms. Lippy**

**Suicidal Bunnies**

**X.Miss.Malfoy.Forever.And.Always.X**

**Woodchip**

**Samuraiduck27**

**Meenyrocks**

**LittleMissPadfoot**

**Crazy-Physco**

**Siriuslyobsessed**

**Mandie Weasley**

**Hermione2**

**Sugar-Hi Mauraders**

**Bunk64**

**Scooter McGooter**

**goody bad**

**And SerenityRose**

**Thanks much for the reviews! I'm thinking Dumbledore next!**

**:sobs: DUMBLEDORE! I LOVE YOU::sobs:**

**Okay hope you liked! I love you all! Don't forget to review!**

**-Kraziekim522**


	10. Dumbledore :

The Taxi Cab

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter characters. So ya…suck on that.

**Authors Note: Hey there my dearest readers. I'm so sorry for the long wait of this chapter. I have recently started school, and its been tough on me since I'm a freshman. Fun. Well anyways I'm truly sorry about the wait and I hope this chapter will make up for that. Thanks oh so much for the reviews I got. They all made me feel so glad that you like this. **

**Attention! This might be the last chapter you will get from me and this story. If my workload and my social life get any busier this story will be over for good. I mean it took me almost 2 months to update this so just imagine what else might happen. Thank you. Any Questions or if anyone will like to take over this story, please email me. or instant message me on AIM at kraziekim522. Well enjoy.**

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Once again, we join Sirius Black in the Taxi Cab…

"Oh Bubba, who should we pick on next? That old lady with the cane? The little boy licking that lollipop…mmmm lollipop…"

"Sirius, you're getting sidetracked. Why not that mate over there?", said Bubba, pointing towards the elderly man on his left side window.

"Good thinking Bubba, pull over. Chop, chop I don't have all day." Sirius waved.

Bubba soon put the Cab to a complete stop as an elderly man with a long grey bread, half moon spectacle, and twinkling blue eyes came into view. Or as Sirius called him…Fresh meat.

Sirius smiled to himself as the man climbed into the cab. He watched as the bearded man closed the door with a thud and folded his hands neatly into his lap.

"To the King-Cross Station, please." said the man (okay its obviously Dumbledore).

"Alrighty," replied Bubba as he started the cab toward its next destination.

Sirius looked over at Dumbledore and poked him.

"Hey mister…" started Sirius.

"Yes, young man?"

"If you were a poptart, would you eat yourself?"

"Well…that depends. What kind of Poptart would I be exactly?" asked Dumbledore.

"Uhm…Cherry!"

"Well if I was a cherry poptart, I think that I would eat some of myself but then leave some more of myself for later. Don't you agree?" stated Dumbledore.

"Uhh…NO I DO NOT AGREE! WHY WOULD YOU EAT YOURSELF! THAT'S SICK, MAN. ABSOLUTELY SICK! IM DISGUSTED!" replied Sirius.

"Alrighty then…" said Dumbledore.

There was an awkward silence in the cab until Sirius busted out in song…

"BLACK SOCKS, THEY NEVER GET DIRTY  
THE LONGER YOU WEAR THEM  
THE STRONGER THEY GET  
SOMETIMES I THINK I MIGHT WASH THEM  
BUT SOMETHING INSIDE ME KEEPS SAYING  
"NOT YET, NOT YET, NOT YET!"

Dumbledore stared at the young boy as if he was crazy. But suddenly, Dumbledore starts laughing.

"That was quite a song you just sang young lad. Did you make that up yourself?"

Sirius, shocked, looked at Dumbledore and replied " Uhh… no I heard it from a reviewer named **Little Miss Padfoot**."

"Oh…well…that was quite a song. Good job."

"Ahem….yeah…anyways…" said Sirius.

_Man this is one tough guy to annoy. What to do…What to do…? _thought Sirius.

"I WISH I HAD SUPER POWERS LIKE…..SPIDAMAN! DUH DUH DUH! SPIDAMAN! AND THEN ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE STREETS WOULD BE ALL LIKE "YEAH MAN LOOK ITS SPIDERMAN HE'S MY HERO" AND THEN I'D BE ALL LIKE "WHOOSH!" FROM THE BUILDINGS! AND YELL IN THE BAD GUYS FACE "OH…WHAT NOW WHAT NOW!" AND THEY'D BE ALL LIKE "OH SPIDAMAN I LOVE YOUU!'' AND THEN I'D BE ALL LIKE "I KNOW I KNOW!" screamed Sirius.

Once again, Dumbledore looked at Sirius and busted out in a jolly laughter. Sirius blinked, and sighed.

"WHAT IS GOING TO ANNOY YOU MAN!" he stated.

"Oh I don't know, young man." started Dumbledore as he took out his bag of lemon drops and popped one into his mouth.

"Yummy. I love my dear lemon drops." said Dumbledore.

Sirius blinked and said "OH! Can I have one!"

"No you may not have one of my lemon drops." stated Dumbledore, pulling the bag of lemon drops closer to him.

"AAW COME ON! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!"

"Did you not hear me! No you may not have one of my lemon drops!"

Sirius, getting hungry, quickly snatches the lemon drops bag out of Dumbledore's hands and pops at least seven into his mouth. Looking back at Dumbledore, Sirius notices that the once jolly, twinkle-eyed man is now beat red with a cross and mean expression plastered across his face.

"Uh-oh". mutters Sirius.

"THAT'S IT YOUNG MAN! I PUT UP WITH ALL YOUR LITTLE JOKES, BUT YOU STEALING MY LEMONDROPS HAS JUST CROSSED THE LINE!" yelled Dumbledore.

Sirius shrinks back into his seat with fear as Dumbledore snatches the bag of lemon drops from his clutch. Without hesitation, Dumbledore looks at Bubba.

"Good day sir."

And with that, Dumbledore snaps his fingers and vanishes from the cab.

Bubba turns around and lightly hits Sirius. "Hey man why did you do that! I didn't even get paid! Good goin' Sirius."

Sirius, regaining his hyper personality, sits up in his seat.

"Hey man, what can ya do? I was hungry!"

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**Yep. That's the end. Of this chappie at least. Like I said before, I'm not sure if I'm going to be writing another chapter of this story. I started this chapter early September, and completely forgot about it, due to the fact I've been busy. You have my deepest apoligies. If anyone wants to take over this story, go right ahead. Like I said before, my email is Yep. Well that's all for now. Goodbye my dear reviewers. Hope you liked this. Please review!**

**--Kim**


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